Lisa little better today. Middle day heart stopping one time. Doctor see say expect little bit. I ask he write.
This he write. "Lisa is in a critical but quite stable condition. Due to stresses on her body from multiple site traumas she is working fulltime to effect repairs. Intermittent heart failures are not as serious as could be as they are stoppages rather than seizures. Effective monitoring and prompt action is obviating serious damage from oxygen starvation to the brain, and attendant functional failures. As Lisa remains unconscious it is difficult to provide a full prognosis however, physically the prognosis is good for a full or close to full recovery. Scans of the brain suggest normal or close to normal function in all regions has been maintained but any proper reassessment will only be possible once the patient is conscious. Once essential internals repairs are affected Lisa should, it is hoped, return to a fully conscious state. It is not possible to predict when this may take place."
I hoping doctor correct Lisa return me soon. I write this all blog so sorry hard write always new thing for read.
Tuesday, February 20, 2007
Thursday, January 11, 2007
almost back to the nest
My sweet Yumi, things are going well here and I'm just finalising arrangements. It's looking very good for Saturday and when you return from your shoot on Sunday we'll have a day or two together before you're off to that assignment in Sapporo.
I hope you don't mind , I've made dinner reservations at your favourite place for Sunday night. You won't see this until tonight I guess with all your running around house hunting. I can still hear you laughing when I first said those words 'house hunting'. The puzzled expression on your face was worth a million pounds. Remember what you said? "House don't running. Why hunt?" I wasn't laughing at you, sweetheart, it was just a funny expression that I hadn't realised really makes no sense if you take it literally. And you do take things literally and I forgot that. Stupid Lisa, eh?
Well, the break in the meeting is almost over and time to go back in with all those boring numbers and graphs.
Hey, don't let that director push you around Yumi, he is not a god, only a man. I know you want to perform at your best so do that thing you do and be ice and be calm. Just take a little while to sit in the trailer with some of that special tea we bought in Kyoto and remember the incense, it'll help relax you. You know the one. Breath in and out slowly, let the bad out into the air.
I hope your day goes as you deserve and you find your dream. My heart is filled with you, my love, and all I want is to be there. Only a few days and I will stroke your hair and sing that special song. Then we can lie together and share the beating of our hearts.
Love you,
Your Lisa
I hope you don't mind , I've made dinner reservations at your favourite place for Sunday night. You won't see this until tonight I guess with all your running around house hunting. I can still hear you laughing when I first said those words 'house hunting'. The puzzled expression on your face was worth a million pounds. Remember what you said? "House don't running. Why hunt?" I wasn't laughing at you, sweetheart, it was just a funny expression that I hadn't realised really makes no sense if you take it literally. And you do take things literally and I forgot that. Stupid Lisa, eh?
Well, the break in the meeting is almost over and time to go back in with all those boring numbers and graphs.
Hey, don't let that director push you around Yumi, he is not a god, only a man. I know you want to perform at your best so do that thing you do and be ice and be calm. Just take a little while to sit in the trailer with some of that special tea we bought in Kyoto and remember the incense, it'll help relax you. You know the one. Breath in and out slowly, let the bad out into the air.
I hope your day goes as you deserve and you find your dream. My heart is filled with you, my love, and all I want is to be there. Only a few days and I will stroke your hair and sing that special song. Then we can lie together and share the beating of our hearts.
Love you,
Your Lisa
Monday, January 8, 2007
to fly alone
Y
Honey will help my word. She Cambodia now. I try only me alone writing. People may thinking Yumi stupid but smart only English write bad. Lisa proud me write alone.
Shit. Need English book wait. Phone Lisa.
Good. Lisa I say you thank you. Thursday look many house. Find best for make fresh home my darling. Decorate beautiful. Rest inside heart so beautiful the house make smile of Lisa. Shit. I bad write. Message next help of Lisa. Better.
OK. Lisa buy house me. Yumi cry make makeup falling down. Yumi happy. Sunshine face all day. Photographer shout Yumi. Yumi laugh photographer from Yumi so many happy today.
Lisa heart so big. Yumi feel as small leaf on floor. Why Lisa love Yumi. Yumi do not deserving. Thank you Lisa love Yumi. Now cry.
OK. Finish here
Honey will help my word. She Cambodia now. I try only me alone writing. People may thinking Yumi stupid but smart only English write bad. Lisa proud me write alone.
Shit. Need English book wait. Phone Lisa.
Good. Lisa I say you thank you. Thursday look many house. Find best for make fresh home my darling. Decorate beautiful. Rest inside heart so beautiful the house make smile of Lisa. Shit. I bad write. Message next help of Lisa. Better.
OK. Lisa buy house me. Yumi cry make makeup falling down. Yumi happy. Sunshine face all day. Photographer shout Yumi. Yumi laugh photographer from Yumi so many happy today.
Lisa heart so big. Yumi feel as small leaf on floor. Why Lisa love Yumi. Yumi do not deserving. Thank you Lisa love Yumi. Now cry.
OK. Finish here
a message from your absent girl
L
It's been a beautiful week relaxing with you my sweet girl.
Thank you for not coming to the airport this morning my dear. It's was cold when I left and you were so warm, and snuggled into a cute little ball of Yumi there in your bed. Our bed.
Now you know why I asked you to check into these pages every day. When you woke with those pretty pink cheeks and your eyes not quite focussed, slipped into your gown and slippers, and did that little dragging-your-feet half-run of yours to the kitchen for your tea, you'll have seen the postit on your computer. "Honey check the blog. Something for you. kisses L" And now you're reading this.
During the ride to the airport I had time to think about the decisions we made during the week and my mind has not changed. I want to make a home with you and make it our special place, our place to escape from the world.
If I remember rightly you have a day off on Thursday so would you do something for me? I know your flat is rented and small and you have no special attachment to it so I want you to look around and find a truly special place. Think about a place you would dream about but thought you could never have. Not to rent, to buy. Find that place my sweetheart. Don't think about the money, only the dream in your head. I leave it completely in your hands because I trust you to know that dream place when you see it.
Now for the boring part. If you find a place you really want, can't live without, contact Saitou-san at the office. I left the number under the cat by the phone. I left instructions that he is to take care of all the financial arrangements, legal things and such, to secure the property. Honey, I know you don't normally like surprises but this is different. You have all the say in this matter and I will love the place you choose for us. All my faith is in you.
Remember, think only of the place you love and don't think for a fraction of a second of the price. That is not important. Our happiness is all that's important so go crazy!!!
If all goes to plan, when has it ever lately, I'll be finished here by Saturday. I've arranged for two days break before going to Taipei so hopefully I'll see you on Sunday. Your shoot in Osaka finishes Sunday morning right? It's in my pda. Take the plane and we can have a late lunch.
They're calling my flight so I must run but happy hunting my love. I can't wait to see what you choose for our home but more than that I can't wait til Sunday.
Love you. *kisses*
It's been a beautiful week relaxing with you my sweet girl.
Thank you for not coming to the airport this morning my dear. It's was cold when I left and you were so warm, and snuggled into a cute little ball of Yumi there in your bed. Our bed.
Now you know why I asked you to check into these pages every day. When you woke with those pretty pink cheeks and your eyes not quite focussed, slipped into your gown and slippers, and did that little dragging-your-feet half-run of yours to the kitchen for your tea, you'll have seen the postit on your computer. "Honey check the blog. Something for you. kisses L" And now you're reading this.
During the ride to the airport I had time to think about the decisions we made during the week and my mind has not changed. I want to make a home with you and make it our special place, our place to escape from the world.
If I remember rightly you have a day off on Thursday so would you do something for me? I know your flat is rented and small and you have no special attachment to it so I want you to look around and find a truly special place. Think about a place you would dream about but thought you could never have. Not to rent, to buy. Find that place my sweetheart. Don't think about the money, only the dream in your head. I leave it completely in your hands because I trust you to know that dream place when you see it.
Now for the boring part. If you find a place you really want, can't live without, contact Saitou-san at the office. I left the number under the cat by the phone. I left instructions that he is to take care of all the financial arrangements, legal things and such, to secure the property. Honey, I know you don't normally like surprises but this is different. You have all the say in this matter and I will love the place you choose for us. All my faith is in you.
Remember, think only of the place you love and don't think for a fraction of a second of the price. That is not important. Our happiness is all that's important so go crazy!!!
If all goes to plan, when has it ever lately, I'll be finished here by Saturday. I've arranged for two days break before going to Taipei so hopefully I'll see you on Sunday. Your shoot in Osaka finishes Sunday morning right? It's in my pda. Take the plane and we can have a late lunch.
They're calling my flight so I must run but happy hunting my love. I can't wait to see what you choose for our home but more than that I can't wait til Sunday.
Love you. *kisses*
Sunday, January 7, 2007
first thing but saying what?
Y
This idea you have. I will maybe write what I cannot say. It's true that my before life was hard and cruel. Before you my heart was winter. Cold. Now the sun comes back and my smile is not the fake smile for my photographer. My smile now is bright and real.
What to say? Tomorrow you will leave and come back the next time. When you go many light will to go with you but I will make the fire in my window for when you will leave the other place then return with me.
Real love of me seems always cannot be true. You tell me it is true and I believe because to be not true will break my heart. Be safe with those people and come back with our love.
I make the promise. Before you come back I will take no sex. If the girl is pretty still I don't fuck her ok. Now to then I work and eat and sleep my love.
OK finish here.
(L - I did a tiny bit of proofing but I don't want to interfere with Yumi's voice)
This idea you have. I will maybe write what I cannot say. It's true that my before life was hard and cruel. Before you my heart was winter. Cold. Now the sun comes back and my smile is not the fake smile for my photographer. My smile now is bright and real.
What to say? Tomorrow you will leave and come back the next time. When you go many light will to go with you but I will make the fire in my window for when you will leave the other place then return with me.
Real love of me seems always cannot be true. You tell me it is true and I believe because to be not true will break my heart. Be safe with those people and come back with our love.
I make the promise. Before you come back I will take no sex. If the girl is pretty still I don't fuck her ok. Now to then I work and eat and sleep my love.
OK finish here.
(L - I did a tiny bit of proofing but I don't want to interfere with Yumi's voice)
Saturday, January 6, 2007
a kind of sharing
L
Before we entered this relationship, or indeed even knew each other, Yumi and I were not averse to a bit of bed-hopping.
Both of us needed to be discreet for similar reasons. The nature of my business which takes me into regions that have zero tolerance for homosexuality, male or female, means that I have had to confine myself to situations where I could not be readily identified. Lovers have effectively been strangers who have come and gone. Similarly, Yumi lives in a culture and in a specific profession (modeling and acting) which doesn't tolerate gays unless it's confined to titillation for its male patrons. Girl-girl sex is fine but it's understood that it's all an act for the video. Any real suggestion of it being genuine is enough to blow a career apart. And so we hide in plain site.
We each now have a core of friends and people we can trust, or hope we can, and while we're now committed to each other, we each love to 'play away' when the opportunity or desire arises. In fact just last night, Yumi hooked up with a girl she met through a friend and while she was out until around two in the morning, I took the opportunity to catch up on some work. When she arrived home, a little high and, despite showering, still smelling vaguely of her lover, I immediately shutdown my laptop, prepared some tea for her and sat, stroked her hair and listened to her relate the experience. Just after three we snuggled and fell asleep, her face resting on my chest.
If our life can always be like this I think we'll both be so happy.
Before we entered this relationship, or indeed even knew each other, Yumi and I were not averse to a bit of bed-hopping.
Both of us needed to be discreet for similar reasons. The nature of my business which takes me into regions that have zero tolerance for homosexuality, male or female, means that I have had to confine myself to situations where I could not be readily identified. Lovers have effectively been strangers who have come and gone. Similarly, Yumi lives in a culture and in a specific profession (modeling and acting) which doesn't tolerate gays unless it's confined to titillation for its male patrons. Girl-girl sex is fine but it's understood that it's all an act for the video. Any real suggestion of it being genuine is enough to blow a career apart. And so we hide in plain site.
We each now have a core of friends and people we can trust, or hope we can, and while we're now committed to each other, we each love to 'play away' when the opportunity or desire arises. In fact just last night, Yumi hooked up with a girl she met through a friend and while she was out until around two in the morning, I took the opportunity to catch up on some work. When she arrived home, a little high and, despite showering, still smelling vaguely of her lover, I immediately shutdown my laptop, prepared some tea for her and sat, stroked her hair and listened to her relate the experience. Just after three we snuggled and fell asleep, her face resting on my chest.
If our life can always be like this I think we'll both be so happy.
Friday, January 5, 2007
fears in the night
L
Yumi sleeps fitfully sometimes.
She sees shadows looming over her then feels that she is dead and that all around her is an illusion. No-one can touch her or see her and she can feel nothing, only see.
Often she will wake in the early hours, sit upright and look about in a daze, most of the time with a light film of perspiration covering her face and body.
She tells me "Life is like a knife that takes pieces of me away when I sleep. One day maybe no more Yumi. All gone."
I cradle her and wish for the day she can feel secure enough to leave those feelings behind.
Yumi sleeps fitfully sometimes.
She sees shadows looming over her then feels that she is dead and that all around her is an illusion. No-one can touch her or see her and she can feel nothing, only see.
Often she will wake in the early hours, sit upright and look about in a daze, most of the time with a light film of perspiration covering her face and body.
She tells me "Life is like a knife that takes pieces of me away when I sleep. One day maybe no more Yumi. All gone."
I cradle her and wish for the day she can feel secure enough to leave those feelings behind.
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